All posts by angie

7 CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY. FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW

 

causes of relationship Anxiety

Having or experiencing relationship anxiety is one of the worst feelings you could ever feel, because it doesn’t only make you feel insecure but it can tarnish your chances of falling or being in love again.

They are a few people on this planet who will come out and admit that they have relationship anxiety because it isn’t something that they are proud of and generally accepting that you have anxiety is the hardest thing for anyone to do.  Anxiety as a mental illness interferes with alot of things in a person’s life, from lifestyle to relationships,  in this article am going to be explaining relationship anxiety and what causes it.

FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY.

When it comes to anxiety, we all know that it is a human thing to feel daily but excess anxiety has bad or painful effects .

Relationship anxiety happens in two different situations, one situation  is where by you are in a relationship but always worrying about what is going to happen in the future , the other situation is where by you don’t want to enter or your afraid of starting a new relationship because of maybe what happened in your past relationship.

All these kind of relationship anxieties can affect your love life in different ways. So let’s look at these situations differently.

  • Where your already in a relationship.

These days alot of people are having sleepless nights because of their partners. They keep on worrying what their partners  are doing behind their backs or what secrets they are keeping. This type of relationship where by there is no trust of one another is a very stressful relationship which can make one of the person in a relationship to have an anxiety disorder. In most cases in this kind of situation the anxiety that you already have or the thoughts that are making you anxious will always make you question everything that your partner is doing.

This kind of anxiety that comes when your already in a relationship has things that trigger it in the first place and that’s what am going to be discussing in this article. When you understand what relationship anxiety really is, then you will see that the causes are within our surroundings and our inner mind. For someone who has suffered or suffering from anxiety, we know that sometimes we get anxious out of the blue and we don’t know even why we are feeling that way.

  • When you don’t want or afraid to enter a new relationship.

In this case a person is afraid or doesn’t want to enter in any relationship.  A person leaving in this kind of fear, always looks or thinks about what happened in the past or what will happen in the future and the thoughts that he or she gets can hinder or make him become uninterested in beginning any kind of relationship.

Every person, who has entered in a second relationship, has kind of experienced this kind of relationship anxiety though the levels of anxiety always differ, as i say that some experience mild, moderate and severe anxiety.  If your not able to let go of the fears that hinder you in starting a new relationship then that means that you have an anxiety disorder which has to be delt with.

Many people who are having this kind of anxiety, always come up with different excuses of not wanting to enter a relationship. Excuses can be like;

  1. Am not ready.
  2.  I don’t have time
  3. Am always busy
  4. Am ok being single
  5. Am looking for perfection.
  6. Am not interested in boys or girls.
  7. Relationships have no meaning.

And so much more. Both of the above situations can be dealt with if you find a psychologist who is experienced in helping people overcome relationship anxiety.

7 CAUSES OF RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY.

They are things or factors that make us have anxiety in our relationships or about the whole relationship concept.

7 causes of relationship anxiety

Insecurities.

Being insecure in any area of your life can always make you anxious , because it always makes you feel that you aren’t good enough in whatever stage of your life you are at. There are alot of insecurities that can cause relationship anxiety, this can be your physical appearance, career or what you think in your mind that your partner finds attractive.

The most common insecurities that people do have is mostly on their physical appearance. Today everyone or most of the majority are trying to look good in order to feel more attractive infront of their spouses or partners. The pressure that is between striving to look good and thinking about if you can’t reach those body goals is stressful enough to make anyone have anxiety.

At first when we  enter a relationship or at the new stages, most of the times our partners find us in shape or looking very nice, but after a couple of years we definitely get used to each other or we even get kids, which offcourse will change how our bodies look like, which we make us feel insecure afterwards.

The other insecurities would be if we aren’t outgoing enough, social or fun enough to attract the kind of partners we are looking for and if we are insecure in that area, then it is very hard for us to enter a relationship.

Peer influence.

The circle that we live in, this can be friends or family, can influence alot in our relationships. The anxiety sometimes we feel or you feel, might not be as bad till someone close to you fuels it. It is very natural to feel anxious or to worry about your relationship or where it is going, but when you have a close friend that you choose to confide in , you better make sure that this kind of person understands what to be in relationship otherwise you might end up being more anxious.

In some situations where your friends can stalk your partner on social media , or what they are doing and later they come and they tell you about it, will make you have an anxiety. There is also a perception that people in your circle have towards a relationship or the picture of your partner can cause relationship anxiety.  For someone who lives in a circle of single people who think all relationships don’t work out or all men cheat then that will affect your mindset as well and your won’t be motivated to enter in any relationship rather it will end up becoming a scary thing for you.

Unhealthy habits.

When people are in relationship , you will realize different habits they have, some of these habits you already know while others might come as a surprise to you.  The unhealthy anxiety might be triggered because your partner is acting in any type of way that makes you worry or feel unsettled. These kind of habits can include uncontrollable jealousy, over dominance, use of violence and many more other things.

In most cases if you find your partner treating you in such a bad manner or having such habits just know that something isn’t right in their life or wasn’t right in their past.  In my experience i had a violent boyfriend and later i realized that it was one of the reason that fueled my anxiety.  Unhealthy habits do contribute alot on having relationship anxiety because of the fear of what our partners will do next.

Long distance relationships.

It is normal to feel insecure or worry about what your partner is doing when your living in different countries, cities or  villages.  When we are starting long distance relationships, sometimes we don’t realize the effects that come with these kind of relationships because of the excitement we might be having at the moment.

The truth is that not everyone is meant or can handle being in long distance relationship.  The thought of your partner being far away from you can be stressful enough to make you go into panic.  In most cases when our partners are far away we tend to put crazy ideas in our heads or imagine false ideas of what they might be doing at that time. For example if you have a girlfriend who lives in another country and she tells you that she is going out with friends, for someone who doesn’t see your girlfriend daily, you might get jealousy or even start thinking the worst scenario which can cause anxiety.

Perception.

When it comes to making anything work, the mindset is everything. In most cases when a person goes into a new relationship with a negative mindset, this will definitely cause problems in the short run, because this is where a person starts mistrusting their partner before they even fall into wrong.  For people who are scared of entering new relationships, deep down in their brains and hearts they already know that all relationships or love stories don’t end well which ends up hindering them to entering new relationships or finding love again.

Fear of Abandonment.

They are people who fear to be abandoned, and mere thinking of their partner leaving them is fearful enough to cause anxiety.  As humans we were born different, some people their partners are there life while others don’t care at all.

When a person develops that fear of being abandoned by the people they love then they will have anxiety since they will be worrying about what will happen if that would the case.

Depression.

Depression is one of the reason to most of the anxieties that we might have. when a person is depressed, offcourse they will have mood swings and they won’t be happy in their relationship.

A depressed person is always anxious and restless, in that if they are in a relationship it is very hard for them to be in a good mood.

 

CAN RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY BE HEALED OR STOPPED?

Any anxiety disorder can come to an end, it all depends on how your dealing with it and what strategies your using either to manage it or get outside the bubble.

I would recommend a person suffering from relationship anxiety to seek professional help, and this can be meeting a psychologist or a healthy worker that is competent in that field.

You can still use the simple strategies to avoid relationship anxiety.

  • Occupy your mind with useful stuff.  In most cases people who worry too much about what their partners are doing, are people who have less to do and they find themselves investing all their free time spying or being suspicious of their partner. ” There is a saying that goes an idle mind is a devil’s workshop” in life we have to keep ourselves busy with the things that motivate us or that pump lots of positivity in our lives than leaving our minds to wander anyhow.
  • Develop confidence.  Most of the insecurities we have or feel in our lives are because we feel we aren’t worthy enough to be with the people we are with at a particular time this can be because of our physical appearance or the situation where in.  Developing confidence is not an easy thing but its possible. Forexample if you feel like your body isn’t in shape you can try and do something about it . Developing confidence is all about doing things that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Seek a therapist. There is nothing good like accepting that you have a weakness when it comes to relationships because the process of healing starts from acceptance.

Relationship anxiety disorder is a very serious illness which shouldn’t be taken lightly. You should seek help if you realize your suffering from it.

 

10 COMMON CAUSES OF GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER. FACTS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW

Everyday there is an increase in the number of people suffering from Anxiety which has also led to the high rates of people having generalized Anxiety disorder.
With the way the world is operating and the way our life style is changing, it has become normal to be exposed to the things that make us anxious.

When it comes to mental health, i should say that less attention is given to this subject yet it is the cause of most every unexplainable problems that we face in our societies today.
I have always asked myself what is the cause of anxiety in general? But then i realised that Anxiety in general is a very wide subject that can’t not be explained in just one article because we have different types of anxiety disorders like Generalized Anxiety disorder, Social anxiety, panic disorders, phobias, post traumatic disorder which all have different reasons as to why a person experiences them.

WHAT IS AN ANXIETY DISORDER?
We can all have anxiety at some point in our lives because it is inevitable and sometimes Anxiety can be healthy as well, but when a person remains in the fearful state for a long period of time whereby this state interferes with her daily activities, then we can term that as an anxiety disorder. As a person suffering from any type of anxiety disorder your body is always in the fight or flight response which is why a person gets to experience certain uncomfortable symptoms.

In this article, am going to be discussing the most common causes of Generalized Anxiety disorder in our societies today.
Generalized anxiety disorder is that type of anxiety disorder that has the highest percentage of anxiety sufferers in the world, the reason being that most people can be unaware due to weird symptoms they can experience and some sufferers end up being misdiagnosed.

Although, all the type of anxiety disorders have one thing in common which is fear and excessive worrying, but to every disorder there something which triggers it to the extent of making someone’s life unhappy and that is what we are going to find out in this article.

WHAT TO KNOW ABOUT GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER.

Generalized Anxiety disorder, is a situation where a person lives in continuous excessive worrying and fear. This can happen because of the state of mind they are always in like if a person is overly worried and depressed about something they are most likely to have GAD.

In my own experience Generalized anxiety disorder can even take years without a person noticing that they are suffering from this mental illness.  The time you spend stressing about your fears is like a time of building this disorder until it’s highest peak. The moment you start noticing the most common physical symptoms of GAD it means that your adrenaline levels are very high and your body has lost control.

For a person to suffer from GAD means that they have been exposed to stressful conditions that have caused their bodies to release too much adrenaline that does put the body in the fight or flight response. When you look around , you will realize that a number of factors like social, economical, environmental. political; somehow contribute to the increasing rates of anxiety in our society today.  Somehow it has become inevitable for a person not to get stressed easily.

Most common things that people stress about.

These are the things that atleast everyone stresses about which can expose them to having Generalized Anxiety disorder.

  • Finances,  Everyone at some point will think about money or whether they have enough money to keep their lives moving. The reason being that money is very important when it comes to living a life that we wish to live.  When we luck money it will become a centre of our stress.
  • Relationships, It doesn’t matter whether it is a boy, girl or family relationship  as long as their is instability in that relationship we are most likely to get stressed and depressed.
  • Poor Health,  This stresses everybody on earth because we all know health is wealth. When your off and on with your health it is reason enough for you to get stressed.
  • Job insecurities , When a person realizes that they can be chased from their work anytime, that situation causes stress and hence making a person to have high levels of anxiety.
  • Physical appearance, These days people care alot about how they look physically which stresses them out. Forexample the big people want to become smaller and the smaller people want to add on some weight,
  • Social status, This might sound weird but these days people stress about their social status and how they can improve it. They see other people’s social status on social media and they want to be like them so this can also cause anxiety among them.
  • Depression. Being sad all the time is also very stressful and keeping your mind in that state can also expose you to having generalized Anxiety disorder.

They are lots of things that make us stressed, the list is endless if you go into deep searching about this issue but the most common ones are the ones listed above.

Note; Not that everyone who is stressed can experience Generalized Anxiety disorder and that is why am going to be explaining the most common causes can lead a person to having GAD.

CAUSES OF GAD.

Failure to manage Stressful situations. 

Everyone at some point is exposed to stressful situations but the way you manage that situation is what makes it different at the end of the day. Let’s assume if two people pass through a certain amount of stress at the same time, but one of them knows how to manage the situation while the other person doesn’t know, it means that the people who doesn’t know how to manage stressful conditions will get more stressed and depressed hence becoming more anxious.

Delay in intervention

When a person starts to experience mild anxiety that is the time for a person to seek help because you can reverse the situation early than when a person is experiencing severe anxiety.  There is one thing you should know that before a person gets an anxiety disorder, they pass through phases from being stressed to being anxious then to having a disorder. That’s why i keep on saying early intervention is key when it comes to Anxiety.

Addiction to Anxiety Medication.

It is not bad to take anxiety medication when your feeling anxious sometimes but some of this medication do have withdraw effects that can turn moderate anxiety to severe anxiety. My advise would be to take them with care or  find a good strategy on how you are going to let go of them without being affected.

Misdiagnosis 

If a person experiences anxiety attacks for the first time, they often think that it is some terrible illness, when they are rushed to the hospital they can end up being misdiagnosed atleast from experience i can testify to it. The reason why misdiagnosis can lead to GAD is because the more you think your treating something worse , the more you will become more anxious.  That’s why it is always better to first check yourself with a very competent doctor or physician before you conclude.

Refusal to accept

In our early stages of becoming anxious, it is always easy to bounce back to your know more state if you accept early that your becoming anxious daily and then look at how you can solve that or treat yourself, where as if you totally find out that your experiencing anxiety attacks or signs of anxiety but you choose to ignore then more of it will come hence causing Generalized Anxiety disorder.

One of the things that can speed up the healing process of anxiety or stress disorders is to accept that now your in that kind of situation other than denying the fact which will eventually put you in the state of having severe anxiety.

Dwelling on the past

This is one of the common causes of GAD in our society today. People don’t want to forget their past traumas or bad experiences. The dwelling on the past circumstances keeps a person in the flight or fight response 24/7  because it brings back the memories of that incidence, it makes the adrenaline levels to shoot and it also makes us to get depressed. If your dwelling on your past, it is advisable to seek for a therapist or find strategies on how you can avoid thinking or taking your mind back on thinking about the past events.

Depression

Being in the state of sadness and unhappiness can make us more stressful and the more we live in that state the more we get anxious. Depression is a silent killer when it comes to mental health. It is very common for a person to be suffering from anxiety and depression because they are related.

NOTE; Everyone in our day to day life can get anxious or even get mild anxiety but there is always a reason why mild anxiety can turn into severe anxiety and that is why a person should take note to avoid GAD.

How to overcome insomnia when you have Anxiety. Facts you have to know.

For people who are suffering from anxiety or who have been in the anxiety circle before know that it is inevitable not to have insomnia during the anxiety period.
Anxiety as an illness comes with lots of physical symptoms and one of them is insomnia. So many people who have insomnia keep on denying the fact that they have a mental illness, though research has always shown insomnia to be connected to mental illnesses like anxiety and depression.

Before you learn how to overcome insomnia, you have to know what insomnia really is and the whole facts surrounding this disorder.

HOW ANXIETY CAUSES INSOMNIA.
You might be asking yourself how is my anxiety connected with insomnia? Well i have to tell you that they move hand in hand. Let’s assume you’re worrying of a certain situation that you think might occur in the future and because of these unstoppable worries you seem not to find sleep at night. The things that you keep on thinking or stressing about during the day, are the same thoughts that will come to your mind when trying to fall asleep.
If your trapped in the anxiety circle, you will definitely find difficulty in sleeping hence developing a sleeping disorder termed as insomnia.

HOW DOES IT FEEL WHEN YOU HAVE INSOMNIA.
When you fall asleep and you wake up after some hours you will feel refreshed and full of energy to start your day but if you haven’t slept well at night, your mornings or days can be horrible in many different ways.
The things that happen to you can include;
•Mood swings.
• Depression.
• Body fatigue.
•Drowsiness.
•Low productivity in your daily activities.
• Lack of concentration.
• Body pains and much more.
As you see all those effects come when your not getting enough sleep. When a person is sleeping, alot happens in the body that is to say this is the time when most development or healing processes occur hence making it a very special daily activity interms of our health in general.

WHAT TO DO TO OVERCOME INSOMNIA WHEN YOU HAVE ANXIETY.

AFFIRMATIONS
There is no such powerful tool like affirming to yourself by the use of powerful words that rewire your brain to a good positive mood. There are so many reasons why i like affirmations, one of them is that they keep you calm and less stressful. For example when you go to bed and try sleeping but you’re mind keeps on telling you that your not good enough, then you have to replace that with a powerful strong affirmation that goes like i know am good enough. I have tried it before and it works like a miracle pill.

NOTE DOWN POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. When you’re day comes to an end and you feel like sleeping but you spent the whole day stressing or worrying about stuff, get a piece of paper and write down firstly the negative thoughts and then lastly write the good things that come into your mind, then after you have written them down you will feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off your shoulder. Writing things that worry you is a powerful technique that most people ignore but it works like a charm.

BUILD POSITIVE IMAGINARY PICTURES IN YOUR MIND.
I know that when you have anxiety, you unable to think clearly and all that comes to your mind are the negative thoughts that cause you to worry and making you loose sleep. Every person has something nice they wish to have or a situation they want to be, so when you realize that the anxious thoughts have started popping into your head like oh my God these physical symptoms are coming back or am dying soon, just close your eyes and start imagining any beautiful pictures that you would like to see for example these might be your loved ones or fiancee or friends but the end result will be you feeling better and eventually getting that sleep.

KEEP YOUR BODY HYDRATED.
When we don’t have enough water in our bodies, it will make us restless because it will affect the elements that promote brain functioning. Keeping your body hydrated will help your overall health including solving the problem of insomnia. Drinking enough water daily will help us to stay focused during the day and rest well at night.

MAKE SURE YOUR SLEEPING COMFORTABLY.
When your trying to overcome insomnia, you have to look at the physical side of the situation, for example are you sleeping on the right mattress or covering yourself the right blanket. All these factors contribute on how well your sleeping at night. In one of my articles i discussed some weighted blankets that are really good for people with insomnia. You have to really check out how you’re sleeping and the items you are using to capture that sleep.

AVOID USING ELECTRONICS DURING BED TIME HOURS.
I know we all love watching late movies, being on our phones and tablets but not knowing these gadgets do make us fail to sleep at night. The time you spent anticipating or waiting for an email or be it trying to win a certain game, this period is enough for your body to fall into a flight or fight response hence finding it difficult to sleep.
Frequent use of electronics also interfere with melatonin a hormone that regulates sleep or wake cycles. In order for you to sleep at night, you have to discipline yourself when it comes to using these electronics.

TAKING SOME HERBAL TEA
I know so many people who have solved their insomnia problem by just taking one cup of green tea or any herbal tea before bed time. These teas are very useful since most of them have ingredients that contain that tranquilizer effect which can relax your mind.

AVOID EATING CLOSE TO BED TIME HOURS.
It is always hard to fall asleep on a full stomach especially when you have anxiety which causes you to have insomnia. Research has shown it that eating food or snacking late in the night will keep you awake the entire night.

Note; Insomnia is am illness that can be solved if you work on yourself and change what is supposed to be changed.
I would say that people have resorted to taking pills as away of getting sleep which i oppose because of the negative effects that come with drugging themselves.
Anyone can overcome insomnia by using the natural tips that i have listed above.